Nigerian Primetime Radio September 2, 2008

I cannot stand Nigerian Radio Stations during primetime. Apart from the fact that most of them have lacklustre programming and presenters, they also spend the majority of my time making me listen to adverts. And terrible ads at that too.

Whatever happened to radio being about music and interesting audio-specific entertainment? Where are the interesting dramas with proper actors/actresses and sound effects? Where are the different music programs
featuring different types of music? All I hear is Nigerian and American pop mainly. And yes, that pop includes modern-day hip hop and its derivatives. Yes, kanye west, T.I, Lil’ Wayne, Naeto C, D’banj are pop, get over it.

I rarely get to even listen to the radio throughout the day. I am a primetime listener which means I listen in the morning as I get ready and head for work, and I listen again in the evening on my way back from work.
If I wanted to listen to adverts on the drive home I would…well, I don’t think I would ever want to only listen to adverts…ever!

I have turned on Cool FM in the morning on my way to work to listen to Dan Foster talk snark and play music and guess what? It took me 45 minutes to get to the office and in that time I heard Dan Foster speak twice and listened to one song, by Ne Yo of all people! Guess what the rest of my time was spent doing. No, I wasn’t flipping stations, I was listening in disbelief to adverts shouting all kinds of rubbish about Zain (nee Celtel), Indomie, BagCo Super Sack (the best thing on there might I add) for 45 MINUTES!

Wow! There must be some sort of regulation about this sort of thing. And if there isn’t I think I will be coming after the regulatory bodies after I am done with the stations. I know that they need to make money to keep going, but damn! 45 minutes worth of ad slots. That is 45 1 minute ad slots. I wonder how much that comes to…during prime time no less! Now, when I do get to listen to a show that actually plays music, I am pleasantly surprised. Unfortunately, not all shows are pleasantly surprising…some are unpleasant and shocking. Case in point, the show on Rhythm hosted by the one and only Kemistry. Where do I begin with this babe and her show? She does little or no research on the guests she interviews – Once, she argued with a musician that he didn’t wear glasses in his video, but he was wearing them in the studio and that’s why she
didn’t recognise him. First of all, let me emphasise that she didn’t know he was the one in the video. She. Did. Not. Know. Isn’t it your job as a presenter to get all/most of your facts about a guest before they come in to talk with you? What’s even worse is that it turned out he did wear glasses quite a bit in the video regardless of her protests to the contrary. She has let her phone ring multiple times during a show, she talks about herself too much…arrgh! I could go on for a bit on Kemistry, but she is not the only offender. Phoneix, also on Rhythm, puts me, and possibly herself to sleep on her show. You can imagine how dangerous that
is while driving! Brilla FM is filled with clones. Almost all of their presenters sound the same and deliver lines in the same fashion. It was odd the first time I noticed it, but quickly descended into Leke Alder levels of disturbing the more I heard it. Get more people with different voices Brilla!

Radio is supposed to provide a means whereby one can listen to music, get valuable information while on the move and even discover one or two things about the above, as well as a means of making the commute a lot more bearable. Instead, what it is in this country is a mixture of heavily mainstream music, presenters one cannot relate to (when they are not borderline or outright incompetent) because of their ‘wonderful’ accents and adverts telling you the same thing over and over and over and over and over…SLAP!